Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

Let me just tell you a story.
Let me set the scene. Yesterday, Memorial Day, holiday. Mid-afternoon. I am sitting outside, enjoying the weather. My phone rings and its a private number. (red flag) I assume its my boyfriend, who has a work phone that shows up as private.
So, I answer. Here goes:
Me: Hello
Private Number: Hi, is this Cynthia?
Me: Yes, it sure is, how can I help you, private caller
Private Number: Hi, my name is changed to protect my crazy identity and I saw that you are a photographer in Florida and I am interested in getting some photos taken of me and my 'wife' for our 25th anniversary.
Me: Oh, congratulatulations! That is awesome 25 years.

Long story short, Private Caller guy, kept me on the phone for over 30 minutes. First he inquires into this anniversary thing, then asks me if I am near a computer. Well, its 2011, so yes. Apparently he has already emailed me some pictures of him and his wife and a nice family photo too. I thought my job was photos? Well, he says he is from NYC and planning a trip to Florida. I ask, Orlando or Jacksonville as I work in both. And smart ass says, well we will be in both cities actually. And then asks me what I think of him and his wife. What? Huh? I say, you look happy. (red flag)
So, then he goes into asking about my approach to photography and art such and then throws in another, what do you think of me and my wife. So, I ignored it and he goes on and on about how they want to find a photographer that they can really be comfortable with and all this stuff (red flag)
After beating around the bush, pun intended, he then asks me if i am against taking nude photos, and my repky was, I charge extra for that. (red flag)
So, does this crazy man, who is talking so low I can barely hear him, even though there is no background noise what so ever, is telling me they rent a house in Orlando, with a healing room and they are both massage therapists and both have their PhD in human sexology, (red flag) and they are both sexologist (red flag) and that they just want to help people have better relationships.
I dont care.
I don't think you could even pay me to care.
So, by now I have tried to get his man off the phone several times and even suggest he just email what he wants. And I start randonly rubbing my phone on my shirt to create static, ya know bad signal.
He tells me that they rent a house in Orlando that has a helaing room with a heated massage table and I don't care. Then he asks me if I have a husband or boyfriend (red flag) I just pretended I didn't hear him, ya know bad signal. So then he drops a bomb, I should say again.
He says he just wants to say that him and his wife are swingers and starts talking about that. in detail. RED FLAG.
I hung up. I had a bad signal.
And he then calls me back 30 sometimes in 15 minutes, from a private number.
Yall please keep your crazy to yourself. If you cannot contain your crazy, there is a place for you, a nice padded place.